Why POV Slips Hurt Your Story & How to Fix Them - Lisa Fellinger

One of the most common issues I see in manuscripts I edit is point of view (POV) slips. POV slips are when the writer slips out of the POV the scene is written in and dips into another character’s POV. This often has the result of feeling jarring to the reader and pulling them out of the story. Depending on who your reader is, they may not be able to articulate why they felt pulled out of the story in that moment, but for most readers, a POV slip does pull them out of your story world for a moment, maybe more. And if you have too many moments like this in your story, you risk readers putting your story down entirely. So, how can we avoid this in our writing? Here’s how.

POV slips tend to happen for one of two reasons. The first reason is that the author truly doesn’t realize they’re doing it. Even though your story may be written in a limited POV, such as first person or third person limited, as the writer, you know what every character is thinking even if your characters don’t. So, to briefly dip into their perspective and comment on what they’re thinking or feeling comes naturally. It’s also often easier to simply state what the non-POV character is thinking or feeling than to show readers how the POV character infers that’s what they were thinking or feeling.

The second reason POV slips happen is that the author doesn’t realize they are POV slips. This happens most often in third person when writers confuse third person with omniscient POV. Omniscient POV is when the story is told by a narrator who has the ability to know what all the characters are thinking, doing, and feeling at once. This is not a POV commonly used in commercial fiction these days as it’s a difficult POV to get “right.” For this POV to work well, the narrator themself needs to feel like a separate character, even if they’re not an active character within the story. For a good example of how omniscient can be done well, I recommend checking out Celeste Ng’s novels. You’ll notice that her narrator has a personality of its own and seamlessly dips into different perspectives. This is different than utilizing third person POV and occasionally shifting into another character’s perspective. Again, this type of POV tends to lean more towards literary fiction in the current market.

When writing your first draft, it’s fairly common for POV slips to sneak in. It’s often easier in the moment to write “Dan was annoyed” even if Dan isn’t the POV character than to spend a little extra time considering how the POV character could tell Dan was annoyed. And for a first draft, that’s okay. Don’t get too caught up trying to make everything perfect in your first draft; the first draft is just to get the story down. Revision is where you’ll go back and clean everything up.

When going back through your manuscript to revise, first make sure you know which character is the POV character for each scene. While this is easy in a manuscript told through one character’s POV, for those that shift between different characters, this can get trickier, especially in scenes where multiple POV characters appear together. Then, pay close attention to any moments in which your non-POV characters’ thoughts, feelings, or motivations are being described. Are the descriptions ones your POV character is observing and interpreting, or are you taking a leap into the non-POV character’s mind for a moment? Very often, simply stating the thoughts, feelings, or motivations of a non-POV character will require a shift into their POV momentarily. For example, stating “Dan was annoyed,” shifts us into his perspective for a moment. Instead, consider how the POV character inferred Dan was annoyed and then describe what the POV character observes about the character. Allowing those observations to speak for themselves to convey the non-POV character’s thoughts, feelings, or motivations not only avoids a POV slip, but it also keeps you in “showing” territory rather than your narrative having a told, summarized feel to it. Win-win!

Paying attention to whose POV you’re in and ensuring you avoid POV slips can help keep your readers engaged with your story. It’s also an issue you can spend some time looking for in your manuscript prior to hiring a developmental editor so that the editor can instead focus on other issues that you might not see or aren’t able to resolve on your own so you can gain the most value from your editing investment.